Anger Management Counseling

Anger Management & Conflict Resolution in Roseville, CA

Anger is a natural human response and reaction to what upsets us. It is important to remember that it is very human to feel angry. Anger is part of our emotional experience and we are allowed to feel it. Some of us have learned to self-regulate our anger and some of us remain quiet until it begins to subside. For some of us, however, anger becomes too intense to manage on our own, and we become aggressive verbally or physically, sometimes leading to rage. Anger management counseling allows individuals to establish methods and strategies for dealing with aggression in a healthy manner.

Rage is a more violent type of anger and it can become uncontrollable when we reach the boiling point. Beyond saying the wrong thing, rage can lead us to the point of physical reaction. When anger becomes rage, it becomes a dangerous response to those around us even leading to violence.

Anger Management

One out of five Americans has an anger management problem. Anger management refers to the control of anger outbursts, as well as their successful prevention.

Within a successful anger management program, patients learn techniques to control their anger and to recognize the signs before an outburst can occur. Anger management isn’t about not feeling anger, it’s about controlling our response when we feel it. If you learn how to control your emotions overall, you’ll inevitably control your anger.

How to Control Anger Before an Outburst?

Harnessing our anger can be challenging, especially if the feeling of anger inside escalates quicker than we expect. But, how to control anger? Here are three anger management techniques to help to control your anger as it escalates:

Exercise. When you’re feeling anger come up, move. Physical activity can help reduce the stress that causes anger. At the onset of your anger, I recommend going for a walk, a run, or to do one of your favorite activities. Not only will you distract your brain from the situation, but your outburst may lessen. Additionally, if you’re going into a situation where you feel you may become angry, we recommend doing your favorite healthy physical activity before entering the situation.

Figure out what’s really behind your anger. Often times, the anger is the final result to something bigger. Something has made you angry, yes, but there’s likely something else happening. There are more reasons than we care to explain for what’s causing our anger. Deep-rooted feelings of hurt, anxiety and isolation can play a part on what’s really behind our anger. We recommend working with your counselor or therapist to find out your root causes and how to release them. Remember, feeling angry is normal and we should not ever keep it in. It’s how we show anger and manage it that’s the answer to a more peaceful life.

Pay attention to your triggers. As you do this work, I recommend paying attention to your triggers. When you feel that initial quickening of anger, what’s the cause? Did someone challenge you? Made you feel inferior? Made you feel like you didn’t know your area expertise? Did you feel like a child? Were you trying to make your point with force? Why? Finding your triggers goes beyond looking at the culprit of your anger, it looks at you as well. Ask yourself: “Why was the fact that _____ wasn’t listening made me so angry?” “Why is this a trigger for me?” Working with a therapist can help to find your triggers and figure out how to appease them.

How to Deal with Anger

How to deal with anger is an important topic for people who outburst (and their families). The first thing we recommend is removing yourself from situations that bring out your anger. This is difficult because when we’re angry we want to make our point. The feeling of “being right” or of “having to make our point” will linger for a while, but after, you’ll be glad you didn’t have an outburst.

I also recommend choosing your battles. There’s a moment of choice when we’re becoming angry. Use those few seconds to your advantage to choose your battles. Remember, feeling anger is normal and healthy, it’s how we show our anger that matters. If conflict resolution is necessary after an outburst, I can give you the necessary tools for healthy conflict management.

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